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As I rolled out of bed at 3:30 am I staggared to the coffee pot to wake myself, somewhat, before staggaring to the bath tub for the full wake up call. There are those people who wake up at that hour because they have to go to work even though they might not want to and there are those who wake up at that hour because they appreciate morning, my Mother falls into this category of people, and there are those of us who rise to shine because we are driven by purpose.
At first contact, usually by phone, I assist the family in determining the actual facts surrounding the addict. It can be a difficult process as most parents have little or no reality on addiction. Some families have all the data necessary, drug or drugs used, length of use, amount of abuse, abuse history, triggers that affect the addict, friends influence on the situation…etc., which helps me assist in determining the best course of action right away. Some, have a serious suspicion, due to behavioral changes, that there may be a problem, in these cases, it’s up to the interventionist to make the determination as to what is really going on and advise the family accordingly. There are those cases where the addict reaches out for help and an intervention, per say, can be done over the phone. Whenever possible I like to do it this way, firstly, because it saves the family in intervention fees, airline tickets, hotels….etc. Secondly, it puts the power to recover into the hands of the addict which adds strength in their determination to get better. Thirdly, when families choose to pay for private rehabilitation the cost can be staggering so any savings I can create for the families towards that end I do. When you have a situation where the addicts asks for help then refuses it and then asks for help and then refuses it, you should opt for intervention. An addict who asks for help and then refuses it will be difficult to get on a plane or checked into any facility. The combination of drugs within a persons system makes it difficult for clear though and decisions to be made. Intervention uses technical processes that gain an addicts agreement to do a program. I never use force, it doesn’t work. No one, no matter what the circumstances, wants to be forced to any thing, especially a person who is physically craving drugs. An interventionist must get the person realizing, on their own, that rehabilitation is the only answer to the problem at hand. The addict must realize that “they want help” and that “they do not wish to live the life they are currently living”. This is no easy task. My day starts at 3:30 am, frequently. Having packed the night before, airline ticket in hand, my brother and right hand man drives me to the airport. In the days prior to my departure I have spent hours upon hours on the phone with family members and facilities, making desperate attempts to contact the addict and create a communication line between myself and the person I am trying to help, making arrangements and coordinating and fine tuning the upcoming intervention. Almost every family I deal with has some sense that I cant do it and I am amazed. Families know their members much better than I and often times believe that there is no way I can get the job done. What families should understand is that I too was an addict and for many, many years of my life I suffered the same fate and my family suffered with me. I step into each family as if I belong there, as if I have known them all my lives and as if this were no other day in the world for them. A comfort level must be achieved if intervention is to be successful. Depending on my destination, arrive several hours later, deplane, get my luggage and wait for the family. I am continually amazed at the relief on their faces to see me standing there, ready to help. They embrace me as an old friend and I feel as though there is no higher purpose on the planet. Each family having their own special story and place in my life from this day forward. We meet and discuss the condition of the addict and take a look at the current situation. For the most part I like to meet with the family first….I don’t consider what I do “Family Intervention”. Family intervention is when the entire family converges on the addict to confront the situation and try to get a result. What I do is “Individual Intervention”. Although I use the family to gather data I prefer to go in together, strictly for introductions and I immediately wisk the addict away so that we may be alone to talk. What I have discovered is that most people suffering through addiction are ready for help. The problem tends to be within the family unit. Statements like “My family doesn’t understand” “They just want me to stop” “I have it under control” and “I can do this on my own” spew forth. When an addict says these things to their family members they cause a sense of distrust to be formed between the two. In reality, family members who have never suffered an addiction, honestly, don’t understand and do believe that the addict can “just stop”. This is not the case. Where an interventionist can help the most is in having reality on the subject of addicton. You see…..most interventionist are ex addicts. The addict cant look at me, at any point and say “you don’t know how I feel”….because I do know how they feel, I have been them. They cant look at tme and say “you don’t understand” because I do. Where family members do not understand, I do. Families strive to be educated about addiction and they do a fine job at it the problem is they cannot know how it feels to physically crave drugs. They cannot know how it feels to have lost the ability to confront the issues that fuel drug use in the first place. They cannot know the embarrassment felt by an addict who has stolen to get drugs so that he or she wont be physically sick. They cannot know the embarrassment we feel for having disappointed the ones we love. They want to know….but they cant. It is the job of an interventionist to first build a relationship with the addict. Similar experiences can be shared and information exchanged. You cannot force a person to rehabilitation. The very definition of the word rehabilitation is to “restore to a former state”. You cannot travel that road by force. The decision to get help and then to be helped must be made freely. Forced interventions never work and people who are forced to rehabilitation often times leave program before finishing, only to return to society to “bump” their heads and hopefully then decide to return. It is a gentle process of getting the addict to realize, on their own, that he or she wants help. It is a gentle process to help an addict reach out for it. It is a gentle process to get the job done. Gaining agreement to get help is the most rewarding task I have ever encountered. Getting that person on an airplane and excited for the prospect of getting their life back is as gratifying waking up sober every day and feeling good about it. Each time I make that delivery, that delivery of broken soul to hope, the broken body to health, the broken mind to peace and safety I feel a renewed sense of hope for humanity. As I sit in the airport tonight at 11:55 pm headed home to my own family, I am exhausted but smiling because of what I have contributed this day. Today I saved a father’s daughter from certain death. I saved a child’s mother who thought she lost her. Today I helped a family have hope for the future. Today I gave back a little to all I have been given through sobriety. Tomorrow, when I wake up, I get the chance to do it all again. |
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